I grew up in a small beach town in Southern California and spent most of the summers of my youth at the beach and in the water. My hometown has an annual Festival of Whales that I looked forward to every year. I developed a love for the water and it’s inhabitants, especially the cetaceans. Living in the San Francisco Bay Area for the past 25 years, where the water temperatures are much colder, I don’t get to swim in the ocean as often as I would like to. I look forward to vacations where I can swim in warmer waters.

In the Summer of 2000, I went to a retreat hosted by Trish and Doug of Dolphin Spirit of Hawaii.  I had been wanting to swim with the dolphins since I was a child and was delighted to finally experience being in the water with the dolphins.  The retreat was awesome, we had several swims where the dolphins joined us. I have magical memories of playful dolphins, sunshine, and feelings of bliss while being in the water.  Hawaii is a fertile ground for dolphin and whale researchers like John Lilly. People like Joan Ocean have been researching and swimming with the pods of Spinner Dolphins who live near the South Kona Coast of the Big Island for more than 25 years. The dolphins there are friendly, curious and playful.  They were not afraid to come near us and look into our eyes. It was very magical it felt sacred. I am so grateful that I chose Trish and Doug to guide me on my first experience in the water with the dolphins. I remember a pod of at least twenty dolphins swimming in a big circle about twenty -five feet below me.  I still remember the sun’s rays shining down through the water as I watched the dolphins swim below me.  It was a wonderful week filled with adventure, fun and lots of laughter.

I have returned to the Big Island several times since that first retreat. In 2007, my husband I were married near Kona. The day before the wedding we took our friends and family out on a boat for a dolphin swim adventure.  It was so special to share this experience with our loved ones. In 2010, we did a house swap with some friends on the Big Island who and stayed in their lovely home on the hill overlooking Kealakukua Bay, one of a few spots where the dolphins gather in the morning after hunting in the deep seas at night.

I am not naturally a morning person, but in Hawaii something shifts in me. Perhaps it is the natural beauty of the land or maybe it is the roosters or bird’s singing. It was a joy to wake up in the morning and head down to the water with our snorkel gear. We saw dolphins almost every day on that trip. Some of my favorite memories with my husband are our morning swims in Hawaii.  I remember on one of those swims asking the dolphins if they had some wisdom they wanted to share with me.  Immediately they told me:  We are love. We are light. We are one.  I felt my heart expand when I received that message.  When I feel like I need a an emotional lift, I think of the dolphins and their message to me. I feel my heart open and can’t help but smile.  It’s is hard to explain the connection I feel with these sentient beings. I love the Hawaiian Spinner dolphins and am looking forward to seeing them at Christmas.  But, I digress…I came here to tell you about the whales!

Trish and Doug have been leading dolphin retreats in Hawaii for over twenty years. About 10 years ago they started bringing a group of people to Tonga every year to swim with the humpback whales.  The humpback whales  travel all the way to In Tonga to give birth to their babies, rest and mate before heading back back to the migratory cycle every year. I remember receiving the newsletter years ago when Trish and Doug first announced the whale retreats.  I knew right away that I would like to experience being in the water with the whales. It went on my  bucket list for someday. This past November, I opened one of their newsletters and knew that it was time. I called Trish and told her I was interested in the retreat and she told me that they needed to have one more person to participate for the trip to be “a go”. I invited Trish to come on my Gently Moving Forward podcast to help to spread the word.  By the end of the December, the last person signed up and the trip was on!

As soon as I committed to the trip, I felt a funny feeling. It was kind of like butterflies in my stomach, but it felt heavier. I realized that what I was feeling was fear.  Quite a bit of it.  I knew that it was important for me to go on this trip. I felt excited and uneasy at the same time.  I remember getting a call from Trish in January or February of this year. I hadn’t purchased my plane ticket yet. She was concerned and she encouraged me to do get my tickets, especially for the inter island flight in Tonga as those flights fill up fast.  I promised her I would purchase the ticket as soon as possible. I also decided to share with her that some fear had come up for me. I asked her if she had any advice to help me to navigate through the fear.  Trish told me that she sensed this trip was going to connect me with my inner power. She told me that being in the water with the whales is powerful on many levels, and that she and Doug feel that being in the water with the whales is like being in the heart of God.  Trish encouraged me to practice some energy tools. She encouraged me to breath, ground and connect with my heart light and allow it to shine from within. She encouraged me to allow the light to shine from the inside out into the world.  And she encouraged me to ask the whales to help guide me and share their wisdom with me.

As this year progressed, many opportunities to navigate through my fear presented themselves. Fear showed up in different ways. One of the ways it showed up was feeling nervous and anxious about flying to Tonga by myself. I have done quite a bit of travel in the past few years and often fly by myself, so it didn’t make logical sense to me to be fearful of flying and travel. Yet, it was consistently showing up. As the fear came up I tried to follow Trish’s advice and I also talked about my fears with my husband and a few of my close friends. Instead of being afraid of the fear I tried to simply be with it, to acknowledge it and begin a dialogue with it. I tried to be curious and to learn from it. One of my daily mantras became: “I am guided, guarded and protected at all times.” Saying the mantra helped me to reduce the sensations of fear in my body.  I am grateful for all of the help I had from my friends and colleagues. You know who you are.  Thank you so much. I love you and am grateful for your love and support.

As the trip approached I managed to make some sense out of the whole experience of the extended pre-trip fear festival.

And… I was clear on a few things:

1. I was going to Tonga to Swim with whales and it was also a soul journey.

2. In addition to swimming with the whales, I was going to be gaining something on this trip.

3. I would  be leaving something behind that I no longer needed.

4. I was going to authentically show up and not apologize for being me.

One of the comforting images that came up for me shortly after committing to the trip was an image of me floating in the water and a whale floating very near to me. We were belly to belly.  I didn’t know what to think of this, but this belly to belly vision kept coming back to me. When I meditated and tried to connect with the whales, I got the impression that the belly to belly vision I kept seeing had something to do with trust. And it was also a transmission of some sort.  I interpreted it as some kind of healing transmission.

Photo by Carsen Vartell

On the morning of my flight I felt good. Most of the fear was gone  and it was replaced with a calm excitement. I flew from San Francisco to Aukland, New Zealand and then from Aukland to the main island in Tonga called Tongatapu.  Total air time was 17 hours, not including a few hour lay over in Aukland.  Serendipity is a lovely thing and this trip was full of beautiful serendipitous moments. The first one of them was Margo, one of the participants, who was from Holland. Margo was also on the flight from Aukland to Tongatapu and we arranged to meet each other at a cafe during our layover.

We hit it off from the get go and it was fun to have her company for the first two days in Tongatapu.  The plan was for the whole retreat group to meet at the Scenic Hotel in Tongatapu and we then we would take the inter island flight to Vava’u together. Margo, and I arrived a day before the rest of our group and spent our free day exploring the town of Nuku’alofa.  We were both eager to get to Vava’u and begin our trip.  Most of the folks in the trip arrived later that day and we had dinner together at the hotel restaurant. It was fun to begin to get to know each other. Margo and I ended up being roommates in Vava’u and I couldn’t be happier about that.

Early the next morning we boarded a plane to Vava’u.  We arrived at The Tongan Beach Resortand quickly dropped off our bags.  We were in the boat by 11:00 am. Our first day was a bonus half day in the water. Initially, we were going to have a free day until 5pm when the group would meet for an hour to connect and share our experiences from the day and  Trish would lead us through a meditation. Instead we got the bonus experience of having an extra half day to acclimate to the water and begin to get to know each other as well as Andrew, the captain and Isi, our guide.  Tonga is one of the few places in the world where it is legal to swim with the whales.  It is regulated and there are some rules. The boat doesn’t go out on Sundays and there can be no more than five people, including the certified whale guide,  in the water at any one time with a whale. There were eight of us in our group including Trish and Doug.It worked out perfectly for Trish to have a group of three and for Doug to have a group of three.  Isi swam with both groups. I felt safe at all times, except for the last day when I saw a sea snake!

photo by Ginny Jones

We had a lovely day. Tonga is simply beautiful  The Kingdom of Tonga is a group of 176 islands.  It is winter there in August and the weather was mostly mild and warm.  We had a few rain storms over the week, but they never lasted long and I brought a rain resistant windbreaker with me, so I was prepared.  Both Andrew and Isi were kind and attentive to our needs and we felt lucky to be on the Vake Vave, that means fast boat in Tongan.   Our days were going to be spent on the boat, with the exception of Sunday, and the evenings would start with a gathering, sharing and meditation before dinner.

The half day on the boat was a good way to acclimate us to the boat, the water, the whales and each other. The first full day out on the boat was a little rough. Most of us had experience swimming with the hawaiian spinner dolphins.  With the dolphins, if you want to swim with them, you get in the water and hope that they are open to staying close enough to be able to hang out with them in the water for a bit.  You kind of have to have the attitude that if they swim with you it is a blessing. And if they don’t show up, it wasn’t meant be,

With the whales, it is a little more involved.  First, the conditions need to be appropriate. Isi, our guide was always in charge of when we could and couldn’t get in the water.  If a whale is traveling, we don’t get in the water with them.  If a whale is floating or staying in the same area, that is when the conditions are right to swim with the whales.  When it was time to get in the water, Isi would signal and we needed to move fast. We had to quickly jump in the water so we didn’t miss the window of opportunity.  While one group was swimming in the water, the group that was waiting had to get their gear ready and position themselves to get in the water as soon as Isi signaled. It was challenging to find our groove at first, but we got more graceful with the process as the days passed.

Initially that routine was jarring for a few of us. I remember sitting at the front of the boat on the first day with Margo and Mary. The three of us had some resistance to the pace and the initial chaos of the “hurry up and wait” and “get in the water fast” protocol.  All three of us took a break from swimming and decided to chill up at the front of the boat. There were whales all around the boat. We could see them and feel them. I closed my eyes and tried to tune into the whales. I felt their presence and learned a new tool from them.

Photo by John Jones

I am planning on creating a guided audio meditation to share in my next newsletter (click the link to sign up!),  but wanted to share a bit with you here. As I was sitting there in meditation trying to connect with the whales I saw several light blue green lights that were reminiscent of neon. There were several strands of these “lights” with different hues in the light blue and aqua tones. The energy “lights” came up from below the boat and up through my feet and legs to the base of my spine, near my first chakra. Then it moved like a tornado,  slowly working its way in a spiral direction up my body. The lights were spinning like a powerful and gentle tornado all the way up through my chakras and out the top of my head. As the lights were spinning, I could feel it finding bits and pieces of old energy that was ready to be released from my body. It stayed in my lower three chakras for what felt like a long tome before it moved up through the higher chakras. At the top of my head, the energy lights came out like a fountain and back down the outside my body, down through the boat, and back into the water. As this was happening the whales told me that this would be a helpful tool for me to practice. It would help me manage my energy levels. I intuitively knew that it was a powerful tool that would help me to transform fears, blocks and  help me to navigate through challenges. It felt like it was working and healing on multiple layers – body, mind and spirit. This process happened in less than five minutes in real time, but felt like it was much longer. It felt like it was a communication, teaching and transmission from the whales to me and now to you.

I opened my eyes and sat there in awe for a moment. Shortly after that, Mary turned around from the front of the boat.  She told me she liked being here on the boat and felt the whales were super close to us. Margo and I both nodded in agreement. We knew we didn’t have to be in the water to be with the whales.  Just then, on the right of the boat, a huge humpback whale swam up along the boat and his head came up and out of the water. It looked at all three of us. It wasn’t more than four feet from us! Margo, Mary and I all had eye contact with this huge whale! It was a beautiful confirmation of all that we had discussed. At that moment we all felt connected with the whales. We all had our own individual process, and it was lovely to share that experience together.

The second full day out on the boat was the highlight of the trip for most of us. I knew right away that this was the experience I came for and that everything that followed would be icing on the cake. I promise to share that with you soon.