Quote by Anne Sexton
I am currently writing my story for Voices of Feminine Leadership, a book that will be published by Heal My Voice this summer. The 9 month process of writing your story involves going deep within for some real soul searching. This will be my third story for Heal My Voice and I enjoy the discovery, community, exploration and ultimately, the birthing of the story. I am always surprised by the parts of my past that come up to be explored and healed as I discover which story wants to emerge for the book. The process with Feminine Leadership has involved me asking myself many different questions about leadership. Many of them are around what leadership means to me and how that impacts the way I lead my life. I realize now, more than ever, that leadership begins with me.
Life is a learning process for sure. With each year that passes we learn. I am grateful for the knowledge and wisdom that I have acquired over the years. Many of these learning opportunities came in the form of (my interpretation at the time) challenges and difficulties in my life. I’ve heard these referred to as AFGO‘s. Even though I am grateful, there is a part of me that would have loved for some of these learning experiences to have been a little more gentle. I found myself thinking about having the opportunity to communicate with my younger self. How cool would it be to able to give myself some advice right after I graduated college? What would I say to her? How would she respond to me? What do I most want her to know? This had life for me -it felt juicy. What advice would I give her? Would she have any questions? Before I knew it I had 13 items on my list.
The Top 13 things I want my younger self to know:
1. Follow your heart.
Let your heart lead you. Your heart is the seat of your inner wisdom. Pay attention to the wisdom of your heart. Don’t doubt your self. You are the expert of you.
2. Trust your instincts, use your brain and practice common sense.
You know so much more than you think you know. Trust in that and believe in yourself. Remember to breathe.
3. Dream Big.
Shoot for the stars. Don’t listen to the people who limit your dreams. Align yourself with people who believe in you and your dreams. Be persistent. Keep your eyes on the prize. Take steps every day that move you towards your dreams.
4. See mistakes as learning opportunities.
Set your expectations that mistakes really are OK. Choose to learn from them. Keep learning your entire life.
5. Use your voice.
Your voice matters. Speak your truth. Be kind, but don’t avoid saying what needs to be said. Knowing what needs to be said is an art that you will develop over time. Refer to numbers 1, 2, 6 and 8.
6. Learn how to navigate through your fear.
When fear bubbles up, remember that you are guided, guarded and protected at all times. Remind yourself often.
7. Take care of your mind, body and spirit.
Look at your life holistically. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Learn the art of extreme self care and develop healthy ways of taking care of yourself.
8. Practice Loving Kindness and Compassion.
For yourself and others. Love yourself first before others. See number 7. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You can always choose to be kind.
9. Seek out mentors.
Actively look for people who have been where you are and can share their wisdom, guidance and knowledge with you. Learn from them. Ask for their advice. And remember rule #1.
10. Practice Forgiveness, Love, and Gratitude. Often.
You will find an opening in one of these three to help you navigate through your life. Find the opening and allow it to help you to heal, to let go, to create more of what you want in your life. Consider this your trinity.
11. People will weave in and out of your life.
Trust in the process of alignment. Be willing to let go. If people are meant to be in your life, they will find their way back to you. Refer to Number 10.
12. You get to choose.
Choose to be empowered. Choose to see yourself and others in their highest light. Choose to see the challenges in your life as the learning opportunities that they are for your soul. Choose to be positive. Choose to be honest. Choose to have integrity. Choose to love. Don’t settle. Choose to live and enjoy life to the fullest!
13. Laugh Often
Your sense of humor will serve you and others around you. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and find the humor in life. Your ability to tap into levity serves you and others around you. Use this ability often and remember #2.
What advice do you have for your younger self? Feel free to share in the comments below.
xoxo,
Kat
Love your list, Kat!!! Really!
I think, if I were doing a list, I would have to add:
Imagine everything in as much glorious detail as possible: taste, color, smell, texture, sound, feeling; because everything you imagine becomes real.
Boundaries, like a lot of things that are other words for the same thing, are limitations. Let it all go and let everything pass through you. Learn to release everything that feels icky and soak up everything that feels fabulous!
Your choice, your life. In this dense physical body, life is short. Make the most of it! Practice those things that allow you to breathe freely and live the life of your dreams: love, gratitude, forgiveness, humility, respect.
Dream often and, when you get lost, dream even more.
Anything is possible. Everything is an illusion. Nothing is real. All is well.
Love you! ♥
Great list Jean – thanks for sharing. Love you! <3
Love your list Claudia! Thanks for sharing. You should publish this on your blog! <3
I no longer have a blog to publish it on. Timmy has two though! Savvy feline that he is! Thinking of starting one up again though. Therapeutic!
These rock Kat! Just because I am in a quirky mood and up for a little bit of a challenge, I will see if I can come up with 13 as well.
Top on my list would be chocolate… People will tell you it’s bad, but later you will be told that science has proved it’s good for you. Keep eating it. No need to feel guilt about it. Ditto for drinking wine. (Not that you’ve started drinking wine in earnest yet.)
Second: That little voice in your head that tells you that you are not good enough? It’s lying to you. You are good enough, and better than good enough for most things you want to do. Learn how to smile and ignore the external and internal naysayers. The crazy ideas in your brain are actually so crazy they are often brilliant. Go with it.
Third: You won’t understand this because you will be depressed right about now, but find joy in everything. Joy will make your life rich and fantastic, and you will be able to have some of that joyful magic rub off on others when they most need it. Hint: The fact that grass grows and birds fly and waves ebb and flow are pretty miraculous. This will put your woes in perspective.
Fourth: Learn when to listen and when to shut up. You can’t fix everything so stop trying and just be. PS: You are still learning this…
Fifth: Five will be your lucky number. And also twelve. And 42 because 42 is the number that explains the Universe. No. I don’t know why it does, it just does.
Sixth: The Universe will alway provide when you let it. You need to be very specific when asking for the Universe to help because apparently the Universe lacks imagination. If you need money, don’t just say, “I need money, Universe. Help me out.” The Universe will put a quarter in your path and call it good. Ask for specifically what you need and leave nothing to interpretation. I can’t stress this enough. It will take some practice, but eventually you will get pretty good at it. When you get in the car you will start saying, “Universe, thank you for a safe and speedy journey with no unwanted police intervention.” This is because you learned sometimes you want police intervention but the Universe heard you ask for no police intervention.
Seventh: Always trust your gut. No matter what. And when your gut tells you not to get into that Yellow Cab, listen to it. Even if it seems foolish at the time. Please.
Eighth: Don’t be afraid to truly and completely love and be loved even when it terrifies you. Or maybe especially when it terrifies you. PS: You are still learning this.
Ninth: Right about now you are asking your parents (our parents) to have a confirmation in the Catholic church. You don’t really know there are other options but all your friends are doing it. Listen to your mother and don’t be angry with her when she says she wants you to wait until you can choose for yourself. Mom is wise. Hint: We are still not confirmed.
Tenth: Embrace your creativity. It will get you through almost anything. That, and animals.
Eleven: I know that although you are a jock and in great shape, you measure your body by the thinnest, muscliest person on your team. This leads you to always feel somewhat ashamed of your body. Believe me when I tell you it is a kick ass body and you should appreciate it for all its worth. Later you will lose it and really wish you had appreciated it much more when you had it. PS: See number one regarding chocolate.
Twelve: Your agent at AMA sucks. Don’t believe him and he will send you on the worst auditions ever. For example, your agent should realize you are white and 5’6″ not black and 5’10” or taller. Stick with CSA as long as you can until something that is actually better comes along.
Thirteen: Take care of your body and your mind. Don’t abuse them. Truly, they are all that make you, you. Being sick blows so stay healthy. [SPOILER ALERT] Although you will feel obligated to wear that Christmas sweatshirt given to you as a gift, please look in the left sleeve closely. There will be a tick in there and it will contribute to you getting sick. NEVER WEAR THE CHRISTMAS THEMED CLOTHING…