I sat some more with the question and thought about times in my life where I lost my sense of inner peace over miniscule and unimportant things as well as some of the biggies, The AFGO’s. There have been many times where I let my choices, other peoples choices, and situations get under my skin which resulted in me losing my sense of inner peace.

I looked back on the times in my life that were filled with drama.  I felt compassion for myself and others as I looked back at my twenties, the height of my drama queen days.  I realized that so many of the choices I made led me away from inner peace.  Reviewing that time in my life, I realized that I have finally forgiven myself for some of the choices I made.  Perhaps wisdom really does come from age and experience.

Now in my forties, I find myself consciously choosing peace more often in my life.  I am cultivating a  practice of choosing peace instead of freaking out.  Choosing to accept the situation (whatever it may be) and take a deep breath.  And then another deep breath. And then another.  There is something about taking three deep conscious breaths that helps to shift our state of being and our physiology.

A couple of weeks ago I had a friend and colleague over at my house who had graciously volunteered to participate as a beta client of my new Customized Personal Retreat work.  She arrived on Saturday night and stayed until the following Friday morning when she headed up to San Francisco for a conference that weekend.

We  carved out some chunks of time to work together around both of our busy schedules.  It was going to be a full week and I was looking forward to working with her. On Monday morning of that week, I wrote my first blog entry for the Voices of Peace blogging challenge. I noticed that my computer battery was getting low and I needed to head downstairs to charge my battery and review the blog entry before posting it publicly.

I headed downstairs and attempted to charge both my computer and my phone at the same time.  As I tried to connect my phone cord to my computer there was a spark and my computer shut down immediately.  It crashed.  I unplugged everything and started over with new connections.  Nothing.  My computer was not responding.  It was dead.

I knew in that moment that I had a choice.  I could choose peace or I could choose to freak out and allow my body to have an adrenal/cortisol response that would mess up my body’s chemistry and throw me out of balance.  I have spent the last year healing my overtaxed adrenals and being more conscious in my response to life’s curve balls  Losing my shit over the computer crashing was not going to serve me, my health or the beta intensive retreat work that was planned for the week.

And in that moment I made a my choice.  I took a deep breath. And then a couple more.  I chose to maintain my inner peace even if my computer was dust.  It helped that all of my work data was backed up.  But I had pictures and some personal/journal writings that were important to me.  In that instant, I chose peace, no matter what.

I was able to get an appointment with the Apple store that night.  There was something freeing about going through the day feeling calm and peaceful. I  was lucky enough to have all of my data recovered and my computer working by the close of the store that night.

Every day I invite more peace into my life.  The learning unfolds as gems come into my awareness.  Peace is a choice.  It is a practice.  And each time I can shift into peace it feels so damn good.

Gently Moving Forward,

Kat