I met Gary Stuart a few years ago when I attended one of his facilitator trainings. He is one of the most generous, intuitive and open-hearted teachers and he is seasoned expert in Constellations. I consult with Gary before many of the retreats I facilitate and he has helped me create some very special directed constellation exercises. The constellation portion of the retreat is always a highlight. In addition to sharing his message of love, I asked Gary to share a bit about the constellation healing experience. Powerful stuff. Thank you Gary!
A brief overview of Constellations
Systemic Ancestral, Family and Organizational Constellations reveal and release hidden dynamics with which we are entangled. These energetic, unconscious obstacles affect our health, our career and our inter-personal relationships.
What is a Constellation? Subconscious bonds and deep loyalties exist in every aspect of our lives. Constellations tap into this Conscious Field of Totality and reveal what’s unseen that maybe having a negative effect in our lives. Our unconscious becomes conscious, allowing us the freedom to make a healthy, FUNctional, proactive choice that allows us to make a change. We can rewrite the script of our lives in a new, positive and empowering way. The goal is to find and restore the Order of Love that’s inherently Invisibly present in all situations.
How does it work? Through the use of Representatives to access hidden dynamics, we gain objectivity and transformation.
Where love hides? A deeper Love… by Gary Stuart
February is the month to celebrate Romantic love or Eros and happiness. For many, it is wondering what repetitive patterns keeps showing up relationship after relationship. Love is the most complex and deep issue we have around bonding with another. As a Constellation Healing facilitator for 15 years I get to see the deeper aspects of love that many fail to see yet comprehend what’s not visible at first glance around love. Please be forewarned as many aspects I’m about to mention may appear negative or even unpleasant. I’m writing this for us to go beneath the surface and find something NEW inside of ourselves and outside of ourselves which I hold true with great love for all.
Love hides everywhere. Most of the time covered by trauma or unimaginable suffering or even lie in wait for half a century to be expressed. It’s this deeper love I speak of, that willingness to suffer at all costs. We all hope for that morsel of recognition. We long to feel that we belong or at least are accepted for who we are. The biggest cosmic irony I see is that we already belong, and all this suffering is optional not mandatory. Also feeling is very different than believing.
I feel it all starts with love of the Mother or is it getting Mother to love us unconditionally as we are? We are, after all is said and done, her child either way. What’s often most present are these ancestral insecurities passed down from the grandparent’s to the parent’s and then on to us. They emanate from many situations that may have come before. They may not even exist in the present as we speak, but are reacted to nonetheless. You know them all too well.
I’LL KNOW YOU LOVE ME WHEN…
“I’ll love you if you hate your father for me!”
“I’ll know you love me if you would die in my place!”
“I’ll die if you don’t obey me!”
It often is nonverbal…
I see most of the time it’s insinuated and never spoken about directly. Any child of any parent feels it and takes it in to the deepest levels of their souls as they haven’t built up defenses against their parents or creators. Any child wants to reward their creators in any way possible as payment for their body and life. One good turn deserves another. No price is too Big or too small in the heart of a child towards it parents.
Bert Hellinger the developer and father of Constellations has very simple, but deep insight into this dynamic of mothers and fathers.
“I for you” would be the child’s willingness to die for its parent.
“You for me” would be the parent asking the child to die for them.
It seems simple enough but how tragic to make the stakes this high on an innocent when any adult has full capability to take care of themselves. A child is willing to die to make someone happy. It would oblige its creators to do so with no remorse. If you doubt this go on to Facebook and see how many children are in chemo or sick in hospitals posted by parents no less. Always PROUD??!?!?! Food for thought. I see the same dynamic true for pets as well. They take a hit for their master, with love and sacrifice. Yet, another example of a deeper love.
This deeper love I speak of is the willingness to sacrifice ALL for another? Christianity is based on this premise “dying for someone else’s sins”. We still live by these myths at great cost, 21 Centuries later called A.D. (after death or anno domini)
A deeper love is often demonstrated much more often by betrayal or loyalty (even of yourself) to show this deeper love. I see it and have been at the effect of it too. There is a deeper hidden message there.
There is a great way out. NO I love you as you are and myself as I am!
These mechanisms for survival and love started long before we arrived and served a purpose for a different place and time. My intention is not to demonize anyone or anything as everyone does their best with what they were given by those who came before. Bow to them in reverence, turn away with your love and own heart and body intact. An even deeper love is letting them pay their own price. You have permission to hold your deeper love for yourself! INSIDE! No external force could ever take that away. Be empowered to walk forward knowing ALL prices have been paid in full. You hold them in your heart with love regardless and hold your love of self, higher still. You know now that demonstrating LOVE through sacrifice was and is too big a price to pay on Valentine’s Day or any other day as well.
You’ve arrived to deeper love! Loving yourself without sacrifice is an inside job and trust others will find their way out on their own. There is no one to save but you. Then you’ll have a world of possibility and people to share your heart with from a place of empowerment not needing any proof.
GARY STUART Spirited Constellation facilitator, Author and trainer
Gary Stuart has been internationally recognized, exploring invisible family dynamics as a spirited Constellation Facilitator for more than 15 years. He is double-certified in the work including Bert Hellinger’s “Movements of the Spirit-Mind” Facilitator’s Training in Austria. Gary ‘s book on Constellations is “Many Hearts, ONE SOUL” available on Amazon.com.
Gary is the host of “Consciousness Connection” on Blog-Talk Internet Radio Network. His new landing page is www.healinginactionnow.com
Get his free E-Book on Letting go of the Past! email@example.com